November 01, 2019

A helpdesk for phd students

customer: “I need to answer a question from the robotics field. It has to do with controlling a biped robot with a neural network. Can you write a phd thesis for me?”

helpdesk: “please hold”

helpdesk to supervisor: “There is a customer on the phone. Are you done with the last task?”

supervisor to helpdesk: “No, but what is the problem?”

helpdesk to supervisor: “The customer needs a thesis about a robot, controlled with a neural network.”

supervisor to helpdesk: “Sorry, but my knowledge about neural networks isn't that great. Can the project done with an expert system as well?”

helpdesk to supervisor: “please hold”

helpdesk to customer: “Are you with me? I'm negotiating with the supervisor about the issue. Please hold.”

helpdesk to supervisor: “Perhaps you can ask somebody else who is familiar with neural networks?”

supervisor to helpdesk: “It's ok, I have found an unpublished thesis about the problem.”

helpdesk to supervisor: “Nice idea to give the customer a third class thesis. This will increase his reputation very much.”

supervisor to helpdesk: “Should i write a new one from scratch?”

helpdesk to supervisor: “No, you don't because it's only a game, and the customer makes jokes all the time.”

supervisor to helpdesk: “All what i can do right now is to create a new ticket in the system.”

helpdesk to supervisor: “Thank you”

helpdesk to customer: “Your request doesn't fulfill the required minimum in academic quality. It was denied. Bye.”

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